So how did our yearning for Eden come to be? Since the time of Adam and Eve, we have yearned to live in perfect harmony with nature and to be in communion with God as through His Son, He promised us both. Along with this promise, He warned Adam and Eve that human nature was not capable of handling the knowledge of good and evil. Unfortunately, the ancient serpent convinced them otherwise with a lie. From then on, Adam and Eve, along with the rest of us, have been barred from entering the Garden of Eden. Since then, we have longed to return to Eden.
Throughout history, this yearning has manifested itself in many ways. In fact, American literature is full of essays, stories, and poetry with the theme of returning to Eden. Thoreau has his “Walden Pond” – a detailed account of living for two years in a shack of his own construction on land near Concord, Massachusetts. While written long ago, the essay has not lost any of its power with his appeal for all of us to “simplify simplify simplify.” If anything, that appeal has only grown over time. Then there’s John Milton who immersed himself in the perfect world of Eden in “Paradise Lost” – a rich garden everyone sought, including Satan, who hoped to destroy it and in his quest to do so received directions from none other than a helpful angel who had no concept of evil. Finally, who can forget “East of Eden” – John Steinbeck’s novel that revolves around the theme of good and evil.
One doesn’t have to look very far or very long ago to realize the art world is full of masterpieces depicting the search for paradise too. Currently on exhibition at Boston University School of Visual Arts is a collection of photographs entitled In Search of Eden: A Work in Progress by the collective TRIIIBE. A collaborative effort among founders Alicia, Kelly, Sara Casilio, and Cary Wolinsky along with many artists, this series of photographs revisits the biblical creation story, the notion of temptation, and the eternal quest for Eden. Continuously evolving, this exhibit plays with cultural ideas of identity and values.
Then there is you and me. We too have a desire to return to our original state of being with this desire manifesting itself in our life choices. For this reason it is a formidable source of motivation for us whether positive or negative. In our desire to be empowered, we seek Eden in our work. In craving oneness, intimacy, and perfect love, we seek Eden in our relationships with those we feel a connection. In seeking peace of mind and enlightenment, we seek Eden by embracing beliefs and following a spiritual path. In seeking beauty, we seek Eden when we pursue creative activities. In seeking to numb the pain of life’s stresses, we find ourselves succumbing to an addiction or a bad habit, when we are actually seeking Eden’s joy. Throughout our life and in everything we do good or bad, our life choices reflect a deep, largely unconscious desire to return to the “Garden of Eden” to reclaim the joy and ecstasy we lost so long ago.
So what is it about Eden we really seek? It’s not for its real estate. Rather, what we really yearn for is a feeling of “home” within the beautiful paradise God promised us. In the truest sense, this “home” never really left us and is within our reach. It’s just that in using our gift of free will, we have made many life choices… one of which being to leave “home.” Tempted and caught up in the unknown, we lose sight of where we were. Losing our way, we then struggle to find our way back home again. Just like the father who embraces his prodigal son upon returning home, God too is waiting for us. At the entrance of the Garden of Eden, He is waiting to embrace us upon our return. It is only then we realize this that we not only come home to God’s warm embrace, but we also once again experience the pure joy and total ecstasy that is Eden.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Do You Believe in Second Chances?
The other night, Justin and I were talking about "second chances" and how blessed we are that our Lord gives us many of them and not just two as the phrase would infer. As he spoke, it made me think about the series of heartbreaks I experienced over the years and how truly blessed I am now that I finally found love after three "second chances". Blessed not only because our Lord gave me three "second chances", but blessed because he threw in a bonus -- an opportunity to redefine and expand the meaning of family. Like many, the first time out at love I was young and foolish. Not realizing I already had it, I gave it up for a "second chance". I soon regreted that "second chance" as it eventually ended in divorce. When I finally opened my heart up to the possibility of love again many years later, I was older, but still a bit foolish when it came to my second "second chance" with love. Still young-at-heart and naive in many ways, I had feelings for my third love that I now know he never felt for me. The relationship eventually ran its course , ending with bad feelings on both sides. It wasn't until I made a concious decision to change myself and my life rather than expecting the world to change for me that love finally came to me. It only came to me when I learned to appreciate its many forms and when I wasn't pursuing it.
Whether you're an athlete (Tiger Woods, Michael Vick, Roger Clemens, or Alex Rodriguez), a politician (Elliot Spitzer, Gary Hart, or Richard Nixon), an ex con, drug addict, a single parent, or an "average Joe or Josephine" who said or did something they later regretted , we often hear the mantra, 'everybody deserves a second chance.' Is this really true? Should we always give another a second chance? Are there any circumstances where someone does not deserve a second chance? For example, when they said or did something deemed "unforgivable" for the umpteenth time. Or, should we always err on the side of forgiveness?
"Second chances" are not only about forgiveness and reconciliation; they are also about treating others how we wish to be treated. For example, if you lost your savings and had to file for bankruptcy, wouldn't you want a "second chance" to gain financial stability? If you lost your job at no fault of your own for the third time, wouldn't you want a local employer to have enough faith in you to hire you? After going through a divorce, or a series of betrayals or abusive relationships, wouldn't you want yet another chance to know lasting love? "Second chances" are about offering hope to those who only know of despair; unconditional love to those who only know anger, hatred, or indifference; trust to those who only know of betrayal; and abundance to those only knowing poverty. In real terms, it means providing programs that help ex-cons, drug addicts, and single parents who want to change their life in a positive direction find work and keep it. It means donating food and clothing the homeless and lower income individuals who find themselves without the necessary resources to sustain themselves; providing rehabilitation centers and transitional housing for those who need a chance to heal; and offering after-school programs to our at-risk youth who are in need of positive role models to turn their lives around.
Does everyone deserve a "second chance"? Absolutely. As Peter asked Jesus in Matthew 18:21-22, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” To that Jesus replied, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." It doesn't mean, however, you have to be stupid or naive about it as I was about love. For example, if your son embezzles money from your business, a "second chance" may mean forgiveness and reconciliation so as to maintain a loving relationship with him. Yet you do have to be smart about it. Don't hire him to do the books for your business. Or if a former love cheated on you, a "second chance" may mean to take a step back, learn from the mistakes you made in the relationship, and work through the issues so you have a chance to remain friends after the split. It doesn't mean, however, you should renew a romance with him anytime soon.
What a "second chance" is really about is giving others what we want others to give us.... as many opportunites as it takes to learn and grow from our mistakes; a safe place to make whatever changes are needed to move our life in a positive direction; and most of all a chance to reclaim what we once had and to reach our full potential and to become... the person God meant us to be. So don't save "second chances" for the holiday season. Rather, offer them up to those lives you touch every day of the year.
Whether you're an athlete (Tiger Woods, Michael Vick, Roger Clemens, or Alex Rodriguez), a politician (Elliot Spitzer, Gary Hart, or Richard Nixon), an ex con, drug addict, a single parent, or an "average Joe or Josephine" who said or did something they later regretted , we often hear the mantra, 'everybody deserves a second chance.' Is this really true? Should we always give another a second chance? Are there any circumstances where someone does not deserve a second chance? For example, when they said or did something deemed "unforgivable" for the umpteenth time. Or, should we always err on the side of forgiveness?
"Second chances" are not only about forgiveness and reconciliation; they are also about treating others how we wish to be treated. For example, if you lost your savings and had to file for bankruptcy, wouldn't you want a "second chance" to gain financial stability? If you lost your job at no fault of your own for the third time, wouldn't you want a local employer to have enough faith in you to hire you? After going through a divorce, or a series of betrayals or abusive relationships, wouldn't you want yet another chance to know lasting love? "Second chances" are about offering hope to those who only know of despair; unconditional love to those who only know anger, hatred, or indifference; trust to those who only know of betrayal; and abundance to those only knowing poverty. In real terms, it means providing programs that help ex-cons, drug addicts, and single parents who want to change their life in a positive direction find work and keep it. It means donating food and clothing the homeless and lower income individuals who find themselves without the necessary resources to sustain themselves; providing rehabilitation centers and transitional housing for those who need a chance to heal; and offering after-school programs to our at-risk youth who are in need of positive role models to turn their lives around.
Does everyone deserve a "second chance"? Absolutely. As Peter asked Jesus in Matthew 18:21-22, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” To that Jesus replied, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." It doesn't mean, however, you have to be stupid or naive about it as I was about love. For example, if your son embezzles money from your business, a "second chance" may mean forgiveness and reconciliation so as to maintain a loving relationship with him. Yet you do have to be smart about it. Don't hire him to do the books for your business. Or if a former love cheated on you, a "second chance" may mean to take a step back, learn from the mistakes you made in the relationship, and work through the issues so you have a chance to remain friends after the split. It doesn't mean, however, you should renew a romance with him anytime soon.
What a "second chance" is really about is giving others what we want others to give us.... as many opportunites as it takes to learn and grow from our mistakes; a safe place to make whatever changes are needed to move our life in a positive direction; and most of all a chance to reclaim what we once had and to reach our full potential and to become... the person God meant us to be. So don't save "second chances" for the holiday season. Rather, offer them up to those lives you touch every day of the year.
Is Revenge Ever Good?
My partner and I were having a discussion the other night about revenge, which then spilled over to our breakfast conversation the following morning about whether revenge was ever good. Not the war variety mind you where a group of individuals save a country from a dictatorship, but the personal variety where one individual feels as though they have to “get even” with another for their misdeeds. The discussion left me feeling as though I had unfinished business to resolve, if only “on paper”, as the topic seems to come up time and time again. It came up again when my partner viewed a revenge movie called “Repo Man” with his son as part of the father-son bonding experience. He summed up the viewing by saying that he survived the gore and gross parts and actually liked the story line… that is until it took an unexpected turn in the wrong direction with the “bad guy” ultimately “winning”. After that, he was sorely disappointed. That made me think: Is revenge ever good? Are there really any clear winners where revenge is concerned? Most of all… what happens when we’re exposed to a steady diet of it?
Is revenge ever good?
This can be tough to answer as in some respects the movie’s results mirror real life. By that I mean, we often go into a negative situation thinking we can handle it. Things remain fine as long as we find ourselves on the winning side. Yet, if we find our self on the wrong side of revenge, or discover the “win” is a shallow victory at best, then revenge doesn’t quite have the same feeling attached to it. While movies and TV have a way of clearly defining “good” and “evil”, these roles are less defined in real life. In fact, “good” and “evil” are often relative based on one’s vantage point and can quickly take on a new meaning when you start to see things from a different point of view. Case in point: prior to my current relationship, I had a seven-year relationship with a man who over time became many things to me. During our time together, “Mark” was a compassionate friend, a handyman, a lover, and a spiritual mentor. From all appearances, our relationship was a mutually satisfying one for a long time… that is until he moved on to someone new half his age. No longer feeling for me what I felt for him, our relationship eventually changed. Understandably, I not only felt hurt and angry about the change, but I also felt betrayed when he could not be honest with his current love about the level of intimacy we once shared. Soon my anger turned to revenge, with clearly defined roles: I was good to his evil. Back then, I justified everything I said and did; some of which I would never do or say under “normal” circumstances. I questioned his motives and integrity; did a background check on him to “clarify” known discrepancies; and discredited him in front of his love interest every chance I got. I justified it all by thinking he deserved all things bad. Like all revenge… the goal was to hurt him a thousand fold more than he hurt me. But was it really worth it?
Are there any clear winners?
The answer is no. While many never “get it”, I eventually did. Revenge requires a great deal of time and effort, with an enormous amount of energy expended on the negative rather than on doing something positive. Before you know it, it becomes a way of life, affecting everything you say and do and every life you touch. Imprisoned by anger, darkness starts to consume your entire life and your world falls apart. If that is not enough…while your adversary may have experienced some pain along the way, it never matches the anguish you feel. So if you’re looking for a victory, it will be a very shallow one at best.
So what happens when we’re exposed to a steady diet of revenge?
It varies from individual to individual. In my case, revenge was a constant reminder of a significant relationship lost. The pain lingered within my heart and soul for months, much like an open wound that refuses to heal. The sheer mention of his name brought tears to my eyes. As much as he hurt me, I had lost and could not reclaim what I once cherished… a deep connection with a man who loved and accepted me at a time when I really needed someone like him in my life.
So is there an alternative to revenge?
Yes. About 6 months after my relationship with “Mark” ended, the Lord presented me with an opportunity to redeem myself in the form of a jury summons. As an alternate juror, I had an opportunity to see my relationship with “Mark” play out in a courtroom setting, with the defendant and plaintiff playing young versions of “Mark” and myself. I saw and heard all the evidence and relived all the drama; this time as an objective observer. As I experienced it all, it felt like déjà vu; this time from a different vantage point, a new heart, and fresh pair of eyes. By the trial’s end, I found myself emotionally drained and totally invested in the situation and its outcome. Imagine my surprise when I learned as an alternate juror I was excused from duty just as the jury was to deliberate. What’s more, imagine how I felt when I learned I would never know the outcome as the case would be sealed due to the plaintiff’s age. Angry at first, I soon realized it was a blessing in disguise. No longer in control of the situation, justice would be served, not by me, but rather by a higher authority and without my knowledge or involvement. In that moment I finally let go of "Mark" along with all the mixed feelings of love and hate I had for him. And in the very same moment, my heart learned there was a positive alternative to revenge known as “forgiveness”; not for “Mark”, but for myself so I could move forward with my life and start the healing process.
While “Mark” is not yet ready to renew contact, I am hopeful he will be one day soon. When we do meet up again, I will be ready as I am thankful not only for what we once shared, but for what I learned as a result of our relationship’s end. From both, I learned about the possibility of new beginnings when both are ready to heal. What's more, I will be able to share the following 7 tenets to Healing Relationships with him:
1. Forgive the person whether or not you ever speak to them again and before you ever invite them into the process. This gives you greater success in mending the relationship as forgiveness frees you from the anger that only gets in the way of fixing relationships.
2. Apologize with an unconditional apology, even if only written as an unsent letter. It doesn't matter whether you are right or wrong, or whether they hurt you, or you hurt them if you truly love this person and want them back in your life.
3. Listen, really listen to what the other person has to say without getting mad, cutting them off, or reminding them of what they did wrong.
4. Do not have any expectations of receiving an apology, as you may never get one. If the need for an apology is greater than your desire to have them back into your life, then the rift may never be resolved.
5. Share your feelings, explaining why you were hurt and/or angry only after completely listening to what your loved one has to say. Do so without making accusation such as “You did this or that". Use feeling phrases such as "When you did this, it made me feel..."
6. Leave the door open as your loved one may not be ready to forgive. Rather than getting angry, tell them that you love them very much and want them back in your life.
7. Wait no matter how long it takes. Then do just that. Once some time has passed, try to contact them again. Finally, do not rush things, rather take whatever time is needed to make things right again.
Is revenge ever good?
This can be tough to answer as in some respects the movie’s results mirror real life. By that I mean, we often go into a negative situation thinking we can handle it. Things remain fine as long as we find ourselves on the winning side. Yet, if we find our self on the wrong side of revenge, or discover the “win” is a shallow victory at best, then revenge doesn’t quite have the same feeling attached to it. While movies and TV have a way of clearly defining “good” and “evil”, these roles are less defined in real life. In fact, “good” and “evil” are often relative based on one’s vantage point and can quickly take on a new meaning when you start to see things from a different point of view. Case in point: prior to my current relationship, I had a seven-year relationship with a man who over time became many things to me. During our time together, “Mark” was a compassionate friend, a handyman, a lover, and a spiritual mentor. From all appearances, our relationship was a mutually satisfying one for a long time… that is until he moved on to someone new half his age. No longer feeling for me what I felt for him, our relationship eventually changed. Understandably, I not only felt hurt and angry about the change, but I also felt betrayed when he could not be honest with his current love about the level of intimacy we once shared. Soon my anger turned to revenge, with clearly defined roles: I was good to his evil. Back then, I justified everything I said and did; some of which I would never do or say under “normal” circumstances. I questioned his motives and integrity; did a background check on him to “clarify” known discrepancies; and discredited him in front of his love interest every chance I got. I justified it all by thinking he deserved all things bad. Like all revenge… the goal was to hurt him a thousand fold more than he hurt me. But was it really worth it?
Are there any clear winners?
The answer is no. While many never “get it”, I eventually did. Revenge requires a great deal of time and effort, with an enormous amount of energy expended on the negative rather than on doing something positive. Before you know it, it becomes a way of life, affecting everything you say and do and every life you touch. Imprisoned by anger, darkness starts to consume your entire life and your world falls apart. If that is not enough…while your adversary may have experienced some pain along the way, it never matches the anguish you feel. So if you’re looking for a victory, it will be a very shallow one at best.
So what happens when we’re exposed to a steady diet of revenge?
It varies from individual to individual. In my case, revenge was a constant reminder of a significant relationship lost. The pain lingered within my heart and soul for months, much like an open wound that refuses to heal. The sheer mention of his name brought tears to my eyes. As much as he hurt me, I had lost and could not reclaim what I once cherished… a deep connection with a man who loved and accepted me at a time when I really needed someone like him in my life.
So is there an alternative to revenge?
Yes. About 6 months after my relationship with “Mark” ended, the Lord presented me with an opportunity to redeem myself in the form of a jury summons. As an alternate juror, I had an opportunity to see my relationship with “Mark” play out in a courtroom setting, with the defendant and plaintiff playing young versions of “Mark” and myself. I saw and heard all the evidence and relived all the drama; this time as an objective observer. As I experienced it all, it felt like déjà vu; this time from a different vantage point, a new heart, and fresh pair of eyes. By the trial’s end, I found myself emotionally drained and totally invested in the situation and its outcome. Imagine my surprise when I learned as an alternate juror I was excused from duty just as the jury was to deliberate. What’s more, imagine how I felt when I learned I would never know the outcome as the case would be sealed due to the plaintiff’s age. Angry at first, I soon realized it was a blessing in disguise. No longer in control of the situation, justice would be served, not by me, but rather by a higher authority and without my knowledge or involvement. In that moment I finally let go of "Mark" along with all the mixed feelings of love and hate I had for him. And in the very same moment, my heart learned there was a positive alternative to revenge known as “forgiveness”; not for “Mark”, but for myself so I could move forward with my life and start the healing process.
While “Mark” is not yet ready to renew contact, I am hopeful he will be one day soon. When we do meet up again, I will be ready as I am thankful not only for what we once shared, but for what I learned as a result of our relationship’s end. From both, I learned about the possibility of new beginnings when both are ready to heal. What's more, I will be able to share the following 7 tenets to Healing Relationships with him:
1. Forgive the person whether or not you ever speak to them again and before you ever invite them into the process. This gives you greater success in mending the relationship as forgiveness frees you from the anger that only gets in the way of fixing relationships.
2. Apologize with an unconditional apology, even if only written as an unsent letter. It doesn't matter whether you are right or wrong, or whether they hurt you, or you hurt them if you truly love this person and want them back in your life.
3. Listen, really listen to what the other person has to say without getting mad, cutting them off, or reminding them of what they did wrong.
4. Do not have any expectations of receiving an apology, as you may never get one. If the need for an apology is greater than your desire to have them back into your life, then the rift may never be resolved.
5. Share your feelings, explaining why you were hurt and/or angry only after completely listening to what your loved one has to say. Do so without making accusation such as “You did this or that". Use feeling phrases such as "When you did this, it made me feel..."
6. Leave the door open as your loved one may not be ready to forgive. Rather than getting angry, tell them that you love them very much and want them back in your life.
7. Wait no matter how long it takes. Then do just that. Once some time has passed, try to contact them again. Finally, do not rush things, rather take whatever time is needed to make things right again.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
What and Where is Eden?
What and Where is Eden? As narrative about creation tells it in the Book of Genesis, God creates Eden as a home for Adam and his life partner, Eve. Looking down on the wonder and beauty that is this great paradise, God is very pleased. Loving Adam and Eve as much as He does, God entrusts them with the care of Eden along with its magnificent gardens. God’s only commandment to them is … eat fruit from any tree in the garden, with the exception of one – the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. At first, both Adam and Eve are good with this… after all Eden is paradise with more abundance than either you or I can imagine. Before you know it though, the crafty Serpent enters the picturesque setting and quizzes Eve. Things only go downhill from there when the Serpent asks Eve why she avoids eating from this tree. In the dialogue that ensues between the two, Eve elaborates saying God issued a commandment not eat of that tree’s fruit, explaining she would die even if she touches the forbidden fruit. As we know, the Serpent is quite the charmer, with Eve eventually succumbing to it, convincing her that she would not die; rather, she and Adam would "be as gods, knowing both good and evil." Not stopping there, the Serpent persuades Eve to pick the most delectable-looking fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Of course, she cannot resist and bites into it. Before very long, Eve walks over to Adam, shares some of her fruit with him, and he too succumbs to temptation! The rest, as they say, is history. The two come "to know good and evil," evidenced by an awareness of their nakedness and a whole host of others vulnerabilities. If that is not bad enough, God finds out, confronts them, judges them for disobeying Him, and ultimately expels them from Eden forever, with neither able to partake from the Tree of Life again Since then, God has Archangel Uriel with an omnidirectional "flaming sword" guarding the gates of Eden , preventing current and future generations from entering into it.
So where is Eden exactly? Over the years, there have been a number of claims as to the actual geographic location of Eden and its magnificent gardens. Most of these accounts, however, have little or no connection to the text of Genesis, which places Eden among four rivers – the Pishon, the Gihon, the Tigris, and the Euphrates. This places Eden somewhere between Najaf and Kufa in the Middle East.
While this is the biblical and the most common perception of Eden, many of us – myself included – also have our own version of Eden. Not the unattainable variety, mind you, lost thanks to Adam and Eve’s misdeeds, but rather the kind of paradise in which we still have a chance to return. From this vantage point, many view Eden as any place where we find beauty and wonderment such as Letchworth Park, the Grand Canyon, Longwood Gardens, or even Niagara Falls. To others, Eden is a metaphor for people within whom we find love and acceptance – our friends, co-workers, parents, siblings, children, spouses, or clergy. Still there are others who believe Eden is an alternative way of life that naturists, vegetarians, and those sharing communal living with an extended family espouse. Then there’s the paradisaical state of mind, a change of attitude resulting from an epiphany, a near-death experience, or a life-altering event.
Tragically, like Adam and Eve, it often takes loss to discover and appreciate the abundance we have been given. For example, in my search for love and acceptance, I became so anxious at one point that I no longer saw God’s abundance; nor did I see the role He graced me with as a sign of His love. In fact, it was not until I hit rock bottom that I realized just how much I abused life’s gifts –mine and that of others – rather than take care of His Creation. What was rock bottom? For me, it occurred over a period of a year. During that time I was betrayed by and ultimately ended a seven year, often tumultuous, relationship with a man with whom I loved very deeply. Shortly after, work became scarce, bills piled up, savings dwindled, and I was on the verge of losing my home. It was only when I humbled myself enough to turn over myself and my troubles to God and made a conscious decision to amend my life from that day forward that everything in my life started to change for the better. That’s when I found Eden in a place, a person, a lifestyle, and state of mind. Eden is Holley’s Glen Falls… a place where I feel most serene, a place where I reflect and pray, and where I feel closest to God. Eden is an incredibly wise and loving man with whom I have found unconditional love and acceptance. Just as my last relationship was ending, God placed Justin in my life to help me through the despair. Just as I was on the brink of losing my home, Justin offered his love and resources. Just as I felt alone in the world, Justin showed me the way and the Holy Spirit filled my heart. Before very long, I started to believe in myself and my potential, pursue dreams I did not know possible, and most of all… embrace the possibilities. Eden is a change in lifestyle. Married in spirit, if not in name, Justin and I have blended our families to create a larger, more loving one. Finally, Eden is a shift in mindset, away from the dark and the negative and towards a positive one full of light. Admittedly, this is something I am still working on to perfect.
So what and where is Eden? Eden is the home in which God wants all of us to return. Not just a physical place, Eden is a state of mind, the contentment felt when we claim or reclaim what we miss, long for, or lost along the way. Eden comes to us in remarkable ways when we connect or reconnect with our selves, our dreams, with the people we met, ignored, or left behind on our way to somewhere else. Eden is also a lifestyle we desire, but may have left behind, pushed away, or overlooked in our attempt to fit in. Most of all, Eden is wherever you are, within your reach, often found where you forget to look, and where unconditional love and acceptance begins...within your own self.
Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa
So where is Eden exactly? Over the years, there have been a number of claims as to the actual geographic location of Eden and its magnificent gardens. Most of these accounts, however, have little or no connection to the text of Genesis, which places Eden among four rivers – the Pishon, the Gihon, the Tigris, and the Euphrates. This places Eden somewhere between Najaf and Kufa in the Middle East.
While this is the biblical and the most common perception of Eden, many of us – myself included – also have our own version of Eden. Not the unattainable variety, mind you, lost thanks to Adam and Eve’s misdeeds, but rather the kind of paradise in which we still have a chance to return. From this vantage point, many view Eden as any place where we find beauty and wonderment such as Letchworth Park, the Grand Canyon, Longwood Gardens, or even Niagara Falls. To others, Eden is a metaphor for people within whom we find love and acceptance – our friends, co-workers, parents, siblings, children, spouses, or clergy. Still there are others who believe Eden is an alternative way of life that naturists, vegetarians, and those sharing communal living with an extended family espouse. Then there’s the paradisaical state of mind, a change of attitude resulting from an epiphany, a near-death experience, or a life-altering event.
Tragically, like Adam and Eve, it often takes loss to discover and appreciate the abundance we have been given. For example, in my search for love and acceptance, I became so anxious at one point that I no longer saw God’s abundance; nor did I see the role He graced me with as a sign of His love. In fact, it was not until I hit rock bottom that I realized just how much I abused life’s gifts –mine and that of others – rather than take care of His Creation. What was rock bottom? For me, it occurred over a period of a year. During that time I was betrayed by and ultimately ended a seven year, often tumultuous, relationship with a man with whom I loved very deeply. Shortly after, work became scarce, bills piled up, savings dwindled, and I was on the verge of losing my home. It was only when I humbled myself enough to turn over myself and my troubles to God and made a conscious decision to amend my life from that day forward that everything in my life started to change for the better. That’s when I found Eden in a place, a person, a lifestyle, and state of mind. Eden is Holley’s Glen Falls… a place where I feel most serene, a place where I reflect and pray, and where I feel closest to God. Eden is an incredibly wise and loving man with whom I have found unconditional love and acceptance. Just as my last relationship was ending, God placed Justin in my life to help me through the despair. Just as I was on the brink of losing my home, Justin offered his love and resources. Just as I felt alone in the world, Justin showed me the way and the Holy Spirit filled my heart. Before very long, I started to believe in myself and my potential, pursue dreams I did not know possible, and most of all… embrace the possibilities. Eden is a change in lifestyle. Married in spirit, if not in name, Justin and I have blended our families to create a larger, more loving one. Finally, Eden is a shift in mindset, away from the dark and the negative and towards a positive one full of light. Admittedly, this is something I am still working on to perfect.
So what and where is Eden? Eden is the home in which God wants all of us to return. Not just a physical place, Eden is a state of mind, the contentment felt when we claim or reclaim what we miss, long for, or lost along the way. Eden comes to us in remarkable ways when we connect or reconnect with our selves, our dreams, with the people we met, ignored, or left behind on our way to somewhere else. Eden is also a lifestyle we desire, but may have left behind, pushed away, or overlooked in our attempt to fit in. Most of all, Eden is wherever you are, within your reach, often found where you forget to look, and where unconditional love and acceptance begins...within your own self.
Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa
Return to Eden
Last month, my partner and I visited Longwood Gardens, located on US Route 1, about 3 miles northeast of Kennett Square, PA, for the second year in a row. If you have never been there, then you have not yet experienced the most breathtaking gardens imaginable. Encompassing 1,050 acres of gardens, woodlands, and meadows, your senses have an opportunity to take in the fragrances of over 11,000 types of plants and see more fountains than any other garden in the US! Story has it that Pierre S. du Pont purchased the Peirce Arboretum in 1906 to save its trees from being cut down for lumber. Over the next 50 years, Mr. du Pont developed Longwood Gardens into what it is today for many - a magnificent horticultural paradise that delights the senses. For Justin and I, each visit to Longwood Gardens conjures up a return to Eden… if only for a day.
Since that time, Justin and I have had many conversations about returning to Eden; not necessarily to Longwood Gardens, but to a simpler time, place, and circumstance where we each feel completely free to be and accepted for who God wants us to be.
It is these recent experiences that got me to thinking about the Garden of Eden and of my return … a lot. So much so in fact that I started to research the topic on the net. Surely, there must be a few others out there who feel as I do. To my surprise, many not a few, have been thinking about the Garden of Eden; not within the context of an unattainable paradise, but rather of a paradise in which we all have a chance to return.
To some, Eden is any place where we find wonder and beauty. To others, Eden is a metaphor for people within whom we find love and acceptance. Still there are others who believe Eden is a lifestyle or a peaceful state of mind. Regardless of whether Eden is a place, a person, a lifestyle, or a state of mind, there is one thing that everyone seems to agree on… Eden is found in the feeling of home. A home we miss and long for yet a home we never left, and never left us.
Over the next series of occasional posts, I will be exploring the Garden of Eden… what and where it is; why we want to return there; ways in which we can recognize, cultivate, and connect with Eden again; and most of all how to live within and appreciate Eden’s abundance. For it is in our finding home within Eden that we know of our return to wholeness that lasts not for a day…but rather for all eternity.
Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa
Since that time, Justin and I have had many conversations about returning to Eden; not necessarily to Longwood Gardens, but to a simpler time, place, and circumstance where we each feel completely free to be and accepted for who God wants us to be.
It is these recent experiences that got me to thinking about the Garden of Eden and of my return … a lot. So much so in fact that I started to research the topic on the net. Surely, there must be a few others out there who feel as I do. To my surprise, many not a few, have been thinking about the Garden of Eden; not within the context of an unattainable paradise, but rather of a paradise in which we all have a chance to return.
To some, Eden is any place where we find wonder and beauty. To others, Eden is a metaphor for people within whom we find love and acceptance. Still there are others who believe Eden is a lifestyle or a peaceful state of mind. Regardless of whether Eden is a place, a person, a lifestyle, or a state of mind, there is one thing that everyone seems to agree on… Eden is found in the feeling of home. A home we miss and long for yet a home we never left, and never left us.
Over the next series of occasional posts, I will be exploring the Garden of Eden… what and where it is; why we want to return there; ways in which we can recognize, cultivate, and connect with Eden again; and most of all how to live within and appreciate Eden’s abundance. For it is in our finding home within Eden that we know of our return to wholeness that lasts not for a day…but rather for all eternity.
Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Can Free Will and Pre-Ordained Destiny Coexist?
Awhile back my partner and I were discussing the topic of free choice and whether it truly exists. Many of us have struggled to come up with a definitive opinion on the matter, with my partner and I being no exception. While he is of the mindset that God gave us a free will, I believe “everything happens for a reason.” This debate is amplified beyond the home front, with many faiths preaching from the pulpit the concept of preordained destiny. Simply stated, preordained destiny is a philosophy that believes a higher power has already defined a path for each of us and that every event in history was planned ahead of time. Given this scenario, how can free will possibly exist? After all, free will and preordained destiny are opposing ideologies, or are they? Is it possible for free will and preordained destiny to co-exist? Or is that we may think we have a choice, but in reality we really don’t. That every choice we ever make is actually based on a script a higher power created and we are actors playing out a specific role.
As much as I am a firm believer that “everything happens for a reason”, I find this idea unsettling. After all, I would like to think that I have some choice of how my life turns out. If free will is lacking and our life is scripted, then why be here at all? I am frequently told that my life is full of contradictions and that this topic is proof positive of that for as much as I enjoy using my free will, I also entertain fate. There are times when I actually find comfort in knowing people come into my life for a day, a year, or a lifetime for one or more reasons. I also find solace in knowing certain events are meant to happen to teach one or more lessons. I can cite numerous examples of people coming into my life at just the right moment. This is one point where my partner and I cannot disagree as he came into my life just at the precise moment when I really really needed him to help me sort out my life. What's more, there have also been a number of events in my life that seemed insignificant at the time, but discovered later that those events triggered other events culminating into something magnificent.
Understandably there are doubters among those who read this post. Even my partner will tell you that from time to time I place too much emphasis on trivial events; using mere thoughts to create something extraordinary from the ordinary. But is that really so bad? After all, it is with this mindset that I seek out my potential and my life purpose ... and in creative ways I might add. All I hope is that pre-destiny does not get in the way of all that I wish to accomplish.
Then one day God placed the answer right in front of me as my partner and I were making dinner. My partner started to talk about his day and how he read an interesting article on how video games were made. Over the years, they have become very complex and sophisticated; not only in terms of graphics, sounds, and animations, but also in terms of the endless choices the player can make during the course of the game. Not only that, even more choices were possible each time the game was played, resulting in a different experience each session. I thought to myself, that individual is absolutely brilliant! When I then asked how this was done, my partner said the creator of a very popular video game summed it up by saying his programmers give their fans an “illusion of free choice”… meaning… while a player may be given what appears to be an endless array of choices, the truth is all those choices were thought about ahead of time and based on each choice, a different path was laid out. Bingo. If a video game programmer can do that, imagine what a higher power is capable of? It was then that I realized that with preordained destiny we are given endless possibilities to exercise our free will.
Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa
As much as I am a firm believer that “everything happens for a reason”, I find this idea unsettling. After all, I would like to think that I have some choice of how my life turns out. If free will is lacking and our life is scripted, then why be here at all? I am frequently told that my life is full of contradictions and that this topic is proof positive of that for as much as I enjoy using my free will, I also entertain fate. There are times when I actually find comfort in knowing people come into my life for a day, a year, or a lifetime for one or more reasons. I also find solace in knowing certain events are meant to happen to teach one or more lessons. I can cite numerous examples of people coming into my life at just the right moment. This is one point where my partner and I cannot disagree as he came into my life just at the precise moment when I really really needed him to help me sort out my life. What's more, there have also been a number of events in my life that seemed insignificant at the time, but discovered later that those events triggered other events culminating into something magnificent.
Understandably there are doubters among those who read this post. Even my partner will tell you that from time to time I place too much emphasis on trivial events; using mere thoughts to create something extraordinary from the ordinary. But is that really so bad? After all, it is with this mindset that I seek out my potential and my life purpose ... and in creative ways I might add. All I hope is that pre-destiny does not get in the way of all that I wish to accomplish.
Then one day God placed the answer right in front of me as my partner and I were making dinner. My partner started to talk about his day and how he read an interesting article on how video games were made. Over the years, they have become very complex and sophisticated; not only in terms of graphics, sounds, and animations, but also in terms of the endless choices the player can make during the course of the game. Not only that, even more choices were possible each time the game was played, resulting in a different experience each session. I thought to myself, that individual is absolutely brilliant! When I then asked how this was done, my partner said the creator of a very popular video game summed it up by saying his programmers give their fans an “illusion of free choice”… meaning… while a player may be given what appears to be an endless array of choices, the truth is all those choices were thought about ahead of time and based on each choice, a different path was laid out. Bingo. If a video game programmer can do that, imagine what a higher power is capable of? It was then that I realized that with preordained destiny we are given endless possibilities to exercise our free will.
Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa
Friday, July 30, 2010
Reaping Rewards
This is the final post in the series illustrating a beautiful portrait of humanity; of men and women who without even realizing it, strive to embody qualities Proverbs 31 embraces in all life areas – personally, with their family, professionally, spiritually, and in their love life too. Whether you’re a “Proverbs 31” man or a woman, you stand out from the rest; you’re a red rose among a field of yellow roses. You’re a man or woman of and for all ages, a role model of timeless strength and beauty, virtue and responsibility; a cherished life partner and a powerful entrepreneur too!
What better way is there to end this series of posts and the book of Proverbs than with a reward? The book of Proverbs is truly about wisdom and the rewards that follow when you choose to take this narrow path. In the first chapter, we are first introduced to a Woman of Wisdom. With the exception of God, she is the most important (and compelling) character in this book. In addition to being wise, she is known for her purity, strength, honesty, boldness, generosity, and compassion. A woman after my own heart, she walks among the people in the public square, reaching out to whoever will listen and offering lessons in living a long, prosperous life – all the while holding onto her good reputation. It’s not until the last chapter of Proverbs, Chapter 31, that our heroine, the Woman of Wisdom is beautifully expressed in the form of a Hebrew acrostic. It is in this beautiful biblical poem that wisdom is personified as a woman to illustrate wisdom at work. In reaching her full potential, the Woman of Wisdom is praised, with her value far greater than rubies.
What is truly remarkable about this book is that not only was it written thousands of years ago, but realizing the role culture plays in it. Think about it. In today's world, no one would have trouble visualizing a Woman of Wisdom. In fact, why shouldn't Wisdom be a woman? It doesn’t matter whether Wisdom is a man or a woman. What's important is what he or she is saying. Right? But in the culture this book was written, this image was considered shocking to say the least. Back then many would ask…”Where is this woman's father or husband?” Or, “Where is the man who is responsible for her, to whom she has to answer? Why is she out in the streets trying to teach men, when she should be at home, minding her own business? And why should any man be at all interested in anything this woman has to say?”
While drawn in accordance with the customs of Eastern nations, the moral teachings of Proverbs 31 remain timeless. One of the greatest lessons we can learn about Wisdom is that she doesn’t always come to you in the way you expect. Within this lies a very fundamental truth. Wisdom will not always come from someone you like or respect, much less want to listen to. If you truly value Wisdom though, you will ignore her exterior, take a closer look, and most of all… listen to all that she is willing to share.
Will you recognize Wisdom when she presents herself to you? What if she comes to you as a small child? A homeless man? An acquaintance, a co-worker you can't stand, your boss, a handyman, a former love who betrayed you, or your spouse? Will you recognize Wisdom during a heated argument, at the height of passion, or in the middle of being bored out of your skull? If we really want Wisdom to come to us, we need to get to a place where we recognize God's voice no matter who He's speaking through.
So where does the Woman of Wisdom reside? Take a real close look. Her words and actions define her. Living among us, she walks down your street, and may even be found at the store or living with you at home. For the Woman of Wisdom is everywhere and right where you least expect to find her.
Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa
Proverbs 31:31
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
What is truly remarkable about this book is that not only was it written thousands of years ago, but realizing the role culture plays in it. Think about it. In today's world, no one would have trouble visualizing a Woman of Wisdom. In fact, why shouldn't Wisdom be a woman? It doesn’t matter whether Wisdom is a man or a woman. What's important is what he or she is saying. Right? But in the culture this book was written, this image was considered shocking to say the least. Back then many would ask…”Where is this woman's father or husband?” Or, “Where is the man who is responsible for her, to whom she has to answer? Why is she out in the streets trying to teach men, when she should be at home, minding her own business? And why should any man be at all interested in anything this woman has to say?”
While drawn in accordance with the customs of Eastern nations, the moral teachings of Proverbs 31 remain timeless. One of the greatest lessons we can learn about Wisdom is that she doesn’t always come to you in the way you expect. Within this lies a very fundamental truth. Wisdom will not always come from someone you like or respect, much less want to listen to. If you truly value Wisdom though, you will ignore her exterior, take a closer look, and most of all… listen to all that she is willing to share.
Will you recognize Wisdom when she presents herself to you? What if she comes to you as a small child? A homeless man? An acquaintance, a co-worker you can't stand, your boss, a handyman, a former love who betrayed you, or your spouse? Will you recognize Wisdom during a heated argument, at the height of passion, or in the middle of being bored out of your skull? If we really want Wisdom to come to us, we need to get to a place where we recognize God's voice no matter who He's speaking through.
So where does the Woman of Wisdom reside? Take a real close look. Her words and actions define her. Living among us, she walks down your street, and may even be found at the store or living with you at home. For the Woman of Wisdom is everywhere and right where you least expect to find her.
*****
Thank you for the opportunity to share these personal posts in such a public forum. In studying Proverbs 31 this past year, the rewards have been many, with the sheer abundance being truly humbling. In learning about the Woman of Wisdom along with her strength, beauty, dignity, and wisdom, I’ve come to rely on my own inner strengths; have come to see an inner beauty within my own self that leaves me in awe; come to feel a confidence and grace that only dignity knows; and have come to know the difference between knowledge and wisdom. What’s more, in learning how to back up my words with actions, I’ve become the woman I am meant to be…a woman of strength, beauty, dignity, and wisdom. The greatest reward this past year was presented to me during my study of the Woman of Wisdom. It was then this Proverbs 31 woman met her man of strength, beauty, dignity, and wisdom in a Proverbs 31 man named Justin. No words can ever adequately express my love or my appreciation for encouraging me to learn about the Woman of Wisdom for in her I discovered myself.Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa
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